What a Crappy Anniversary or more specifically Alan and Monica's Anniversary was a special episode of General Hospital which aired on August 15, 1997, focusing exclusively on the Quartermaine family. It featured the wedding anniversary of the long-time supercouple Alan and Monica Quartermaine, who are once again on the verge of divorce, and included numerous flashbacks of their tumultuous relationship.
Storyline[]
Alan Quartermaine stood alone in the den of the Quartermaine mansion when Ned Quartermaine walked in and answered the phone. Lila Quartermaine, Edward Quartermaine, and Justus Ward entered, preparing to go to dinner. Lila mentioned to Alan how he and Monica Quartermaine never seem to talk at any of their anniversaries and bluntly told Alan to "fix it." Alan flashed back to Lila giving a toast to his and Monica's engagement and future grandchildren. While A.J. Quartermaine was with Carly Spencer in a hotel, he phoned home to wish his parents a happy anniversary. Alan lied and claimed Monica was upstairs slipping into something nice. He then thought to himself that he could have loved A.J. more if he loved Monica less and flashed back to the moment Monica told him she was pregnant and the subsequent affair and paternity test with Rick Webber.
Jason Morgan encountered Monica at the park. She confided in him that she was considering leaving Alan and expressed regret over ever becoming a wife. While with Jason, Monica reminisced about the moment Alan first proposed to her. Then, she recalled caring for a young Jason and A.J. She believed she wasn't good at parenting; however, Jason reassured her, saying he has all his teeth and an education, so she must have done something right. Jason talked about how much he missed Robin Scorpio and wondered how long it would take for the pain of her departure to fade. Monica had no answer. Eventually, Jason left. Later, Ned found Monica in the park and reassured her that everything would be okay.
Bobbie Spencer drops by the Quartermaine mansion and reminds Alan how his and Monica's marriage has survived despite hers and everyone else's around them that has crumbled over the years. Alan retorts he hasn't given up on her and Tony Jones, but Bobbie insists that it is time to let it go. Alan brings up their almost affair, jokes, and asks Bobbie if she is up for it again. Bobbie laughs it off, the two hug, and she leaves. Alan then recalls every instance of infidelity between him and Monica, including Monica's affair with Sean Donely and the day he found them in the mansion, as well as her affair with his nephew Ned, Alan's affair with Susan Moore, his kiss with Rhonda Wexler, his near affair with Bobbie, and Monica's affair with Pierce Dorman.
At the mansion, Emily Quartermaine arrived and spoke with Alan. Emily felt that the problems they were experiencing were all her fault; she told him she was a leftover from Monica's cancer. Alan assured her that this was not true and that they both loved her, but they were at fault for forgetting to tell her at times. Alan recalled the moment he met Emily and her mother, Paige Bowen, Paige's breast cancer, his Sidney the bear routine with Emily, and the moment he and Monica decided to adopt her. At that point, Monica appeared, and Emily left to allow them to talk. As Monica stood in the mansion, both she and Alan flashed back to all of their heated arguments and physical confrontations, including Alan saving them from the attic roof falling and beating each other with rubber pads during marriage counseling.
Alan suggests they continue their marriage, maintain their affairs, meet up for dinners to show off occasionally, and then go their separate ways. Both of them admit they would hate that. Alan then retorts he wants to do something about it and reach out to his wife, but when he does, it's like a cardboard cutout. He admits he doesn't think she's having a physical affair with Ned, but an emotional one, as she can talk to Ned in ways she can't with Alan. Monica admits that what she and Ned have in common is that they lie and cheat. Monica can't apologize for herself any longer and feels Alan looks at her as if she's deliberately trying to hurt him. However, Alan doesn't realize that Monica wants to keep certain things about her private and not tell anyone. She asks Alan if he is tired of arguing, and Alan agrees he is. Monica then sees a wrapped gift Alan got her for their anniversary and asks what he thought would happen tonight. Alan honestly imagined they would talk things out as they are now. Monica asks how Alan puts up with her, but Alan apologizes and says he shouldn't have treated her the way he did. They decide not to get a divorce.
A montage of their moments throughout the years plays to Celine Dion's "Because You Loved Me," and the episode concludes with the two embraced on the couch in the Quartermaine mansion. As Alan remarks "What a crappy anniversary", they kiss.